Off Day

Leave it to me to provide some measure of social commentary on a cycling blog. But on a day off for the Giro d'Italia, I couldn't help but follow up on Kristin Richard's appearance on Oprah Winfrey (see T-o-3's blog from yesterday).

It was stated online that she was brought on to Oprah to promote an article she had written in the latest issue of Glamour magazine, but when was the last time you heard of someone needing to plug a single article? Kristin was already a regular/sometime contributor to Runners World magazine, writing about her marathoning/training experiences and about the issues of being a running mother and finding the athlete within her.

The more resounding reason she was on Oprah was because Kristin's recent article really struck a nerve with Oprah, who upon reading it stated "it's why I never got married." What was that reason? Losing one's identity while in a relationship.

For Kristin, it was never demanded of her by her ex-husband, Lance Armstrong (LA) but something she expected of herself or more poignantly what she felt society demanded of her. She felt the need to be the perfect wife and mother, all the while being enthralled and subjugated by the "size of a ring." Near the end, the strong and independent Kristin he fell in love with was replaced by someone she thought he needed or wanted. It may be mere speculation on my part, but all Lance probably needed was that strong independent woman like his mother, Linda Armstrong Kelly ("Texas tough") to always be there. Oedipal Complex remarks aside, but how many of you thought on first glance that the resemblance of Kristin and Linda was uncanny?

In happier times? Copyright: Joel Saget/AFP 1999

I know a lot of people who no longer care for Lance Armstrong because of his divorce, and I don't fault them for feeling that way. I'm not here to be an Armstrong apologist, but what do you do when the woman you love feels "smothered" by a life she helped to create? Did the demands of a husband being on a bicycle 7 days a week take its toll on their relationship? Yes. Was the failure of their marriage completely Kristin fault? No. Was it completely Lance's fault? No.

Part of being in a relationship is caring about the other person a little bit more than you care about yourself, but it doesn't mean a person needs to lose themselves in their attempt to achieve this standard. It's been my contention that relationships work when there is some sort of balance, remembering that each person was an individual before they got into the relationship. If you can be respectful and honest about that then you've got a better chance than most to have a good one. But, like all good things, a relationship still takes work. Fair or not, would we really be talking about a failed marrriage if LA had put in as much work (or even half as much) into his marriage as he did to prepare for the Tour (can you say self-centered and controlling, they don't call him "The Boss" for nothing)?