OBL A Hero (didn't we already know that?)

I wouldn't mess with Julie Pike's lead on this one in the National Ledger:
Tour de France champ Lance Armstrong apparently changed into his super hero costume recently as one published report [OK, so it was in the Enquirer] says the cancer survivor is also a crime fighter.
A report claims [Journalism tip: NEVER use the word "claims"] Lance turned into a one-man police tour de force recently, according to the Enquirer.
The supercyclist was biking with a pal near the beach in Santa Monica [isn't that near Malibu -- see item below], when a mugger pushed down a woman and sprinted off with her purse.
Lance reportedly turned around, raced after the scruffy bad guy [all bad guys are "scruffy," right?] and bumped him to the turf with a crafty front-wheel whack.
The reports says Lance snagged the purse from the sprawled perp [do you just love this?], who reportedly then beat feet and ran off. The report then claims that Armstrong cycled the snatched satchel back to its owner and resumed his recreational ride.